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Writer's pictureKenneth Chai

What Can You Do When Negativity Strikes?

We wear many hats and play different roles in our lives and this isn’t always easy. Oftentimes, we might end up feeling overwhelmed, anxious and stressed, which affects our overall mood and behaviour. Fret not as there are ways to get back on track and improve our happiness whenever negativity strikes.



Our many hats and different roles


In life, we wear many hats and play different roles- we’re parents, children, siblings, friends, leaders, entrepreneurs, investors, advisors, consultants, employees, colleagues etc. These roles are non-exhaustive and it is not uncommon for us to change hats and roles throughout the day. Needless to say, people tend to quip that 24 hours in a day isn’t enough!


Playing multiple roles isn’t easy and it requires discipline, focus and flexibility. Oftentimes, we might end up feeling overwhelmed, which is no fun. It causes anxiety and stress, and ends up affecting our overall mood and behaviour.


Some people do it well. Others, maybe not so well.


My mother is a superwoman. Her daily roles include wife, mother, grandmother, cook, driver, cleaner, doctor, accountant, newscaster etc. And most of the time she has a cool head on her shoulder. Respect!


I too play multiple roles. Unfortunately, I’m not really good at multitasking. I prefer to focus on one role at a time so that I do it well. I like to give it my fullest attention and do the best I can. And when I need to multitask, that’s when I feel overwhelmed.

Facing challenges


My different roles also mean that I face different types of challenges. I enjoy finding solutions to these challenges and when I successfully overcome these challenges, I will feel accomplished and thrilled!


Unfortunately, not all challenges are easy to resolve. Some will need time. Not only that, I sometimes encounter a few challenges simultaneously from differing roles. That’s when anxiety and stress increase significantly. When it continues over a prolong time, my energy level will drain and my morale will suffer.


I believe I’m not alone and many experience this too. If left unchecked, this negativity will eventually snowball into burnout and depression.


What can you do?


Here are some ways to stop this negativity from spiraling out of control- by being grateful and practicing gratitude.


Being grateful


Whenever we feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed, we’ll naturally focus on things that are negative. Focusing on negative things is our bodies’ own mechanism to make sense of the matter and to try and fix it. Sometimes we will blame others for our situation and end up getting angry at them.


Instead of focusing on negative things and letting negativity consume us, we might want to shift our mindset to become more positive by being grateful. When we feel grateful of people, things, circumstances etc, we generally feel good and this will help us get back on track.

As a professional coach and an emotional intelligence practitioner, I’ve developed a rather high level of self-awareness. It helps me detect negativity the moment it creeps in. When that happens, I will immediately remind myself of things that I’m grateful for in my life- I’ve a wonderful, loving and supportive family, my kids are growing up well into young adults, I have the luxury of spending time with my loved ones, I have the privilege of changing people’s lives though coaching and mentoring, I’ve close friends who have my back, I’m healthy and fit, I get to enjoy simple pleasures at my whim, etc. Reflecting on my life, I really don’t have any valid reason not to be grateful!


Practicing gratitude


Depending on preference, there are a few ways to practice gratitude. Although gratitude is an internal expression of our own gratefulness, some people may prefer physical acts of gratitude.


1. Daily journaling


Journal about the three things you are grateful for daily.

If you feel like writing more, go right ahead. The key is to be consistent- doing it daily. Your journal can be as simple or elaborate as you please. It can be in digital format on your laptop or it can be in manual (written) format in an old-fashion notebook. Whichever format, just ensure you are honest when you share and express your thoughts and feelings. Alternatively, you can even use a voice recording app on your phone to record what you are grateful for.


2. Volunteer in pro bono activities


Giving your time to help others is a great way to show gratitude. Find a cause that resonates with you or an organisation that interests you and see what volunteer opportunities they offer.


When we help others, we are reminded of all that we have and instantly feel grateful.

3. Make time to spend with family and people who matter


Spending time with family and people who matter is an effective way to remain grateful. The key is to be frequent- as frequent as you can. Having family and close friends helps us feel supported and loved.


By investing time in your relationships, you are creating powerful memories to draw on when you need a pick me up.

Conclusion


We wear many hats and play different roles in our lives and this isn’t always easy. Oftentimes, we might end up feeling overwhelmed, anxious and stressed, which affects our overall mood and behaviour. There are ways to get back on track and improve our happiness whenever negativity strikes.


We can be grateful and practice gratitude, which help us maintain a positive mindset that leads to a positive attitude. This in turn helps to ensure more resilience when the chips are low or when the times are bad. And this ultimately reduces the risk of burnout and depression.



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